I get into these fleeting obsessions with male celebs every now and then…here is my latest one :P
I actually find him rather inspiring. He’s got a really interesting story which he talks about on this talkshow. The thing that struck me about him when I saw him on 《百万大歌星》 - other than his wonderful voice - was how sunny and chirpy he was.
Well, I think his voice is very warm too, so all in all he’s projects a really sunny image.
I’ve always been attracted to people like that, because my nature tends to be broody and dark and pessimistic. These people just seem so effortlessly happy! And they infect everyone around them with their overflowing brightness.
I didn’t know he’s 38 years old this year, and I wouldn’t have guessed, with his boyish face and boyishness. I’ve also always found the boyishness in men attractive.
Am posting these 4 clips because they made feel rather encouraged.
For a while now, I’ve been confused about God. I feel that of late, I’ve reverted to the spiritual state I was in before I joined my first church - jaded, bitter.
Definitely not as jaded and bitter then - because I was younger and didn’t know things the way I do now.
I’m bitter for different reasons…mainly, the one overriding question I have these days is, “If I don’t believe, will you still bless me?”
I hardly pray nowadays, I hardly ask Him for things. I’ve just been relying on my own human strength.
It hasn’t been so bad. In fact it’s been quite good. For the first time in my life, I’m conscious of my own capabilities and competence. For the first time in my life I can say with confidence, I know I’m strong, intelligent, smart, resourceful, independent.
Because I have fought, my inner resources have been tested and I’ve come up on top despite my struggle.
But to ask for things which I feel are still beyond my reach…I dare not. I don’t wanna be disappointed when I don’t get what I want; it’s happened before, followed by a lot of questioning and guilt and self-condemnation.
Is it my lack of faith that stops Him from moving in my life? Is it because I don’t believe, and that’s why I don’t receive?
If so, then I really don’t think I can do this…right now, I don’t feel like I ever will be able to believe.
In fact, right now my beliefs are so tenuous that I am questioning if God even exists at all. Followed by: If He does, does He love me? And: If He loves me, then why…?
I decided some time ago that all this was too much to think about, and that I was just making myself more confused, so I decided to stop thinking about it, and in the meantime also stop listening to sermons because they only confuse me further.
Maybe I’m blind…maybe I think I’ve done it all on my own but maybe the truth is, He’s been there all along, helping me, blessing me.
And to be honest, I really can’t say that I haven’t been blessed. Despite all the struggling and crap and tears, I still have things to be thankful for, that I seemed to have come across “by chance”. Maybe it wasn’t chance, but providence.
I’m posting these clips because I was touched and encouraged by his testimony. Yes…a bit to my surprise, he’s a believer!
Don’t think he was born into a Christian family though, because he talks about not being one when he first entered the music scene.
His life is super interesting, here is a short summary:
16 years old - Rebelled and away from home (he is actually from Hong Kong, hence the slight accent)
20~25 years old (1993-1998) - Took part in some singing competition, made it really big as an idol in Taiwan, and subsequently HK and Japan even. But 3 days before a concert in Japan, he ran off to the US (so I read on some forum) and disappeared from the music scene.
Late 20s~Early 30s (Not sure what year exactly) - Acted in HK and China
34 years old (2007) - Released album in HK which was a huge hit, comprising of songs he’d composed and written himself
38 years old (2011) - Released album titled 《没有说再见》 in Taiwan (after 13 years!!) which he considers his true comeback because he was discovered and launched his singing career in Taiwan afterall.
In the interview, he talks about the various setbacks and obstacles he encountered. When he first came to Taiwan, he couldn’t speak a word of Mandarin and couldn’t even get a cup of water in a pizza restaurant. Running off in the 90s was because he was really stressed and had no creative control over his music. When he first started acting, he was really terrible at it. His co-workers would giggle about him behind his back and groan when they had to work with him because he would hold back everything.
He also had a really bad fall in his house once. Not sure when this was…I think when his acting career was just taking off? He fell so badly he broke his nose and cut his lips in half. He said that you can’t see the scars now but people who kiss him would be able to fill the scar inside his mouth with their tongue. Another thing I like about him is the way he’d just say such things candidly, including stuff about his girlfriend and his relationship.
He lost his voice once too, and it got so bad the doctor told him to stop singing for 2 years. That really upset him and when he went to caregroup - where he is a leader and the one comforting the younger ones usually - he cried and they became the ones who comforted him instead.
This part touched me because…when I was part of a caregroup, my leaders never shared their present life and struggles with us. If they did, it was the past. As if their current lives were so perfect and whole, and so were they. When in reality, I don’t think this was ever the case. If they had showed a bit of their struggles, I would probably have felt a lot better about mine. I was always questioning why I was still struggling now that I had God in my life. (But what was I thinking? He was in my life long before I knew Him…)
I think it says a lot about his relationship with his ‘sheep’ that, when he’s down, he isn’t afraid or ashamed to share with them, and they turn around and comfort him instead. I think it says there’s a lot of genuine relationships and love there.
Anyway, I think he healed in about 6 months, during which he wrote a lot of songs. When he finally found a good record company (one that was really interested in him and his music and not just looking to make a quick buck off his past fame) they chose all 10 songs from his work.
There was one part where he was talking about how throughout his life he achieved success very easily, whether it was in his studies or singing career, but would later experience some kind of setback. He figured it was because he was too impatient and wanted to do everything on his own (something like that, can’t remember exactly what was said).
I think God kinda spoke to me through him (and I think he’ll be glad to know that)…
I felt edified, listening to his story; I thought, look at him - he’s handsome, smart, talented, charismatic - yet he’s experienced failure in his life. Yet he continues on his walk, to be so positive and optimistic.
Everything in its time. This was one of my favourite verses until I got tired of waiting. But I’m still young, aren’t I? There’s still so much I’ve yet to discover. He’s 38 and his life has taken so many twists and turns and he’s still doing well.
I look at my own journey, and…I’m not a great planner. I have to say I’ve stumbled onto most of the defining experiences of my life, if not all. Sometimes they turned out to be wonderful, sometimes painful, but I’m still ok now.
How can I say that He hasn’t been there?
